Fitness Fiends

Metabolic Typing for Fiends

Administrator — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 21:44:43 +0000

What is Metabolic Typing? Metabolic Typing is a nutritional prescription based on the theory that our metabolisms fall into one of three categories, depending on differences in biochemical makeup. Nutritionists who subscribe to the theory do not believe in “one-size-fits-all” diets. What this means is that what you need to eat to maintain your health and fitness might differ from your neighbor’s nutritional needs. According to the theory, it’s important to identify your metabolic type to optimize and personalize your diet. There are three basic metabolic types:

a. Protein Type

b. Carbohydrate Type

c. Mixed Type

Protein types need to eat more protein and fewer carbohydrates. The reverse is recommended for Carbohydrate types (more carbs, fewer proteins). Mixed Types require a balance. To determine your Metabolic Type, check out the following links:

a. Metabolic Typing

b. Metabolic Self Test

For more in-depth information on Metabolic Type, we recommend you read William Wolcott’s, The Metabolic Typing Test

Fiendish Abs

Administrator — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 15:27:34 +0000

Fitness Fiends like their abs and we like them apparent.

Visible.

Fiendish!

What is it about fiendish abs?

We want 4 or 6 or 8 or 12, and we want them neatly packed like organic eggs in brown recyclable cartons.

Why do we covet fiendish abs so keenly? We speculate about the matter at night, in bed, as our resting musculature defines itself.

Are “visible abs” a Darwinian sexual marker, the outward sign of exceptional virility, we ask? Hmm…

Could a belly that bulges over a belt gesture toward sexual timidity, the genetically weak human organism’s attempt to conceal its own reproductive organs, thereby removing itself as a survivor? Does a prominent gut advertise a late-primate’s unwillingness to share nutritional bounty, a hoarder of grub?

Perhaps.

We roll over, thinking about another plausible avenue: Aesthetics.

Perhaps, we muse, fiendish abs appeal to our innate sense of the Beautiful, which the German philosopher Immanuel Kant claimed indicates our transcendent attunement with Form.

Fitness Fiends do like Form.

Symmetry.

Clean lines.

Rows, columns, order. Abs like a computer-generated workout chart.

We are repulsed by the Formless. The vague fleshy blob makes us blubber.

How do we make our abs fiendish?

Fitness Fiends take a twin-edged approach when it comes to chiseling out our “six-packs.”

Fiendish Hearts: We activate ourselves cardiovascularly. We force our fit black hearts to pump overtime. Breathing hard, we throw our fat onto the fire and, huddled together, watch it dissolve in the night. Our abs begin to assert themselves, emerge into the world like teeth, hardened, annealed. Kant, we note, took a walk daily, without fail. Here are some websites Fitness Fiends have consulted:

Sick Pack Now – Fat Loss tips

MSNBC – Reveal Those Abs!

BodyBuilding – Muscle Hypertrophy

2. Fiendish to the Core: We apply tension to our midsections, ruthlessly—abs, obliques, hip flexors—two or three times a week. at least a day of rest between 15 minute sessions. We work them and work them from every angle imaginable. More instructive websites:

a. Men’sHealth – Best Abs Of All Time

b. AskMen – Ab Top Ten

c. Men’sHeatlh – Abs you haven’t done

d. Women’sHealth – Rock Hard Abs

Body fat hides the contours of musculature. What’s the magic number that releases abdominal muscles from the bonds of invisibility?

10 percent.

We measure our progress with these instruments of torture: http://www.accumeasurefitness.com/

Diabolically yours,

Who are fitness fiends?

Administrator — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 13:56:35 +0000

Fitness Fiends Manifesto

Fitness fiends are people devoted to fitness, by any means available. Here are our 10 guiding articles. Join us.

1. We are metabolically diabolical.

2. Body is our religion; health, our daily bread.

3. We prefer achieving fitness in our homes or apartments, or under the open sky in small fiendish groups, but we will frequent gyms, as a last resort.

4. Our abs emerge at night.

5. We run when we can. We always run.

6. We scoff at sloth.

7. We pull ourselves up by our chin-up bars.

8. Our hearts are high on oxygen.

9. Our brains are soaked with endorphins.

10. We are diabolically metabolic.